Parashat Vayigash: Forgiveness – can you imagine?

We’ve all experienced times in our lives when we’ve felt separated or divided from others. It may be as temporary as a fight with a family member or a disagreement with a co-worker. It is often easy to recover and reconnect following these minor events. There are other times when there are larger divisions, or more severe splits in relationships. These types of ruptures, usually filled with anger, hurt, or hatred, can lead to estrangements, divorce, wars, or more. As much as we try to maintain relationships to the best of our abilities, it seems that broken relationships are just part of being human.

This week’s Torah (Genesis 44:18-47:27) and Haftarah (Ezekiel 37:15-28) portions, for Parashat Vayigash, address broken relationships on two different levels.

First, we read of the incredible reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers. It’s hard to imagine what each of us might have done in this situation. The brothers who had left us for dead so many years earlier now stand before us – do we exact revenge? Or do we forgive? How might each action feel? What are the barriers to forgiveness? What factors encouragement either reaction?

As Rabbi Jeremy Simons writes:

So instead of indulging in well-deserved self-righteousness, Joseph instead says “Come forward to me” (Genesis 45:4). Rashi explains he must have said those words because he saw his brothers backing away. Surely after realizing this was their left-for-dead brother they were expecting to be shamed, or worse.

In a just world, those brothers would not have been the ones backing away, but would be reaching out, begging for forgiveness in the wake of their unforgivable crime. But the world is not always just. Fortunately Joseph was wise enough to realize peace would only be possible if he was the one to initiate it. It’s easy to find comfort in the phrase “they started it.” If our goal is to feel vindicated, that phrase might be enough. But, if our goal is to make peace, sometimes we need to be the ones to reach out, even if it means forgiving someone that hasn’t yet apologized.

Joseph surprises us in so many ways when we draws his brothers closer and reveals himself to them. Not only does he not punish them – he seems almost grateful for being thrown into a pit and all that followed. He shares that it was God that was actually driving the story forward. How do we incorporate this theology into our lives? Do we agree? Does God have a plan for each one of us? 

The evocative text from Ezekiel imagines two sticks – one which represents Judah (and the Southern Kingdom), and one which represents Joseph/Ephraim (and the Northern Kingdom). In Ezekiel’s hand, the two sticks become one. Ezekiel lives during the 6th century BCE, both before and after the destruction of the First Temple. It is a time of utter destruction for the Jewish people: the division into two separate kingdoms, and then forced exile from our homeland. The image of the two sticks becoming a single stick must have been a very hopeful, encouraging text of reunification for the listeners.

There are obvious parallels to the current State of Israel, as well as the mood in the US. What do you take away from these two texts? I look forward to studying with you!

Shabbat Shalom.